Reddit users are understandably hurt and confused after receiving an invite to a wedding only to find that it came with some pretty strings attached, an etiquette expert told Fox News Digital.
“I was invited to a wedding but there are major issues and I'm absolutely devastated,” “EdenCapwell” posted to the r/WeddingShaming and r/AmIWrong subreddits on July 11.
In the post, the user said that she and her husband were recently invited to a wedding, and when they opened the invitation, “a little note fell out onto an index card.”
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At first, the woman said, “I'm so excited. I love weddings.”
She ignored the index card at first, but upon closer inspection, she found a rather surprising note: Her husband had been invited to the wedding and reception, but the note said, “I, along with several other female guests, will be helping babysit the children in another room.”
The woman who told this story (not pictured) said that when she RSVP'd, she found out that she and her husband would each have to pay $100 for food and would have to babysit the children who were in attendance. (iStock)
“The church has a special room for the kids and I will be there. Everything. I will have to wear my wedding clothes in case I get in photos but I will eat the reception meals with the kids and will be with all of them at the ceremony,” she wrote.
“And there was a link to a gift registry.”
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In addition to being told they would have to find a babysitter, the woman and her husband were also informed that “the cost of the meal for my husband and I would be $100 each, with a payment link provided when we digitally RSVP'd.”
“It doesn't do much for me to prevent falls or stop a child from choking.”
“The first problem here is that I'm 50 years old and disabled,” she said, adding that she is on an oxygen machine and sometimes relies on mobility aids.
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“I have little ability to do anything that requires quick action, like breaking a fall or keeping a child from choking,” Eden Capwell wrote.
The second problem, she wrote, was that she, not her husband, had been childhood friends with the soon-to-be married couple.
The woman said she was shocked by the contents of the wedding invitation, despite having strong ties to the bride's family. (iStock)
“Why was my husband invited to the ceremony and reception but not me? He said he would be happy to look after the kids and would let me attend the wedding and reception, but the invitation specified that only other female guests could look after the children so I doubt he will be invited,” she wrote.
“I grew up with the bride's mom as if she were my sister. We went to school together, graduated together, worked at the same company twice, and have been very close ever since,” she said, writing that the invitation was a “surprise.”
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“I was definitely expecting an invitation,” she said, “but I didn't expect it to be like this.”
“I acknowledge that I feel offended and hurt.”
The woman asked other Reddit users for advice on how to handle the situation, especially since she claims the couple knew about her health issues.
“I confess I am angry and hurt, feeling like I am nothing more than a babysitter to them who is expected to babysit for free while paying for dinner,” she said. “Would it be wrong to tell them I can't attend and to find another babysitter? Should I send them a gift even if I can't go?”
The woman writes that she was initially very excited when she received her wedding invitation, but then realized it came with a catch. (iStock)
Fox News Digital has reached out to Eden Capwell for an update on the situation.
Etiquette experts told Fox News Digital on Wednesday that the situation was extremely awkward and that the woman who shared her experience on Reddit was understandably upset.
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“Sending an invitation to a wedding or event traditionally meant you were being invited as a guest, not as an attendee,” says Rosalinda Randall, a California-based etiquette expert.
“A wedding invitation with instructions, obligations and links to payment plans is not an invitation,” she says. “It's a job offer that they assume you will accept.”
“That's the most vulgar thing I've ever heard.”
Randall said such an invitation would be very upsetting to most people and “probably angry and embarrassing.”
Randall said Eden Capwell has “a few options” on how to handle the invitation.
People can choose not to attend the wedding at all, but should “send a nice card and a gift,” Randall said.
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Or Eden Capwell, who “turned down babysitting duties. [the] She could “have a meal and have a good time” or she could “just show up for the ceremony and sit in the back of the church and sneak out after the ceremony.”
Many Reddit users agreed with Randall, saying that such an invitation was definitely not normal and that Eden Capwell was understandably hurt and confused.
Reddit users are shocked by a very strange wedding “invitation.” (iStock)
“That's the filthiest thing I've ever heard. Asking guests for free childcare, paying for their meals, and gifts? Absolutely not,” one Reddit user said in the post's top comment.
“I would cut off contact with these people. They may have been your friends but they are not good people and are people you don't want in your life anymore because this behavior will continue and escalate,” the same user added.
Other Reddit users offered some rather humorous suggestions for how EdenCapwell should respond to the invitation.
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“You can reply that there must be a mistake in the invitation. The current babysitting rate is $20 per hour per child. Can you let her know how many children she's assigned?,” suggested user “OldPolishProverb.”
“I thought about this, and I showed up as a babysitter and other [babysitters] “Kids crashing the wedding and causing mayhem,” suggested user “mangogetter.”
Christine Roussel is a lifestyle reporter for Fox News Digital.